Friday, July 01, 2005

I Need a Break

Do you ever get sick and tired of being the friend that listens to others problems? I do, all the time. And recently its getting worse. Lately it seems like my friends are just putting themselves into stupid positions then they call me to ask me my opinion on what I think they should do. If you know me, you know that I am not the type of person who actually cares. I really could give a flying fuck about who is messing with who and in what position. I have 3 best friends and they all are really annoying me right now.

Best friend #1
I get many calls everyday and they all sum up to the same thing. "I slept with Mike. What should I do?" My reply to that is: that is your business. What can you tell someone when you feel like your words goes in one ear and out the other. If you are sleeping with Mike, Sean, Tom, Dick and Harry and you guys are all in the same area and they all play ball together, don't you think that one day they might just all find out? Common sense would tell me that if I am going to play games, at least do it in different zip codes.

Best friend #2
Now, this is a nigga that has too many tricks up his sleeves, they type of friend that always tells you the truth, but only when you ask. So if I happen to not ask I would never know. I guess people would call that the don't ask don't tell policy. But see, that only works if both of you are playing the game. I never knew that was the policy he was on until just one day, out of the blue I found out that he had a girlfriend. Then I found out that he bought a car. A few months later I found out that he bought a house and had moved. The next thing I know I am finding all these books about marriage around his house and in his car.
So I get a little pissed off because since when do you keep life changing events from your best friend? Nigga got me thinking that I lost my spot. Maybe we aren't as cool as I thought we were because I don't see how someone could forget to tell me things like that.
I don't keep my mouth shut when calls. If something is on my mind I will just say it, but you know what his response always is???? Here it goes..."I didn't tell you? I could have sworn I told you. I told somebody!" Well nigga there must be someone more important than me cause I never knew!

Best friend #3

This is the best friend that I referenced in the "Diamonds are Forever" post. I don't know what else to say, she is getting more and more crazy as her pregnancy progresses.

Am I wrong for not wanting to hear this shit any more? I just need a break!


SweetB... said...

ok, I try not to, um..whoa this is going to sound strange but, I don't really keep friends who like to cut cost and use me as a therapist. Don't get me wrong, I love to advise and help, and listen. I in fact love helpin a sistah out, especially if she's in the bestfriend catagory. But, it's not a go in my world. So shake these friends loose or get them intervention. I mean they say friendship is unconditional, but dude, we've all got limits and how you gon help them if they've spewed their craziness onto you, or burned you out. Wosah!

uzuri.afi said...

I just read your blog for the first time. I agree with the comment above me. i think you should count your blessings. Any friend that is a friend will be considerate to you and how you feel and make you a part of your life. You feel me? Any friendship worth having will not misplace their anger or fristrations or burdens on you. Its give and take. I wont lie. Bestfriend #2 tripped me out for real. But yeah, sometimes we grow in different directions and from what I see your on the up and'll hurt but count it as a blessing in the long run.

nai' said...

I totally feel what Sweetb and blaiqangel are saying, but I'd be lying if I said that I totally agree. You know my bestfriend and you know the immense amount of issues that she has dealt with in these last few years. You've rolled your eyes when you heard her voice over the phone. You've sucked your teeth and written her off and often wondered why I haven't done the same. And the reason is simply because everytime I've decided to write her off, I am not able to do so because I see the progression. Yes, sometimes I want to just blow up at her and tell her to get some help, but when she figures out some shit and calls me to just say "I'm not calling to vent or complain to you about anything Cee. I'm just calling to tell you that I love you and I appreciate you being there even when I know that you have given up on me." I'm sorry, but that's what I believe that friends do. Some of us have a backing that will be there for us to support us through these kinds of times. Others don't. If we write everyone with issues a ticket to intervention, then I feel that a certain part of what friends are supposed to do, is kinda passed off. Your bestfriend has been there and you've always listened but never really listened. Today she speaks to you from a place of a person who NEEDS you to be in her life. As a person who has dealt with that, I cannot agree that you cut her loose.


E_1979 said...

Your friends just have a huge need for attention and the only way they know how to get that is to lay their cares and concerns on you... they obviously are from sorted back grounds that make them want and crave attention at all costs.... To them they don't care how they get you to listen only that you listen ... So one way to keep the friendships if thats what you want to do ....... is ... set boundaries and stick to them ..Tell them I can not continue listening to you dump your problems onto me... It's draining me. then as soon as they go into their problems again ... Stop them and reinforce your message.... no I am not going to talk about that with you but if you wish to talk about something more uplifting then fine. And if they can't understand after you tell them and make it clear that their behavior bothers them .... You have to cut your far as dude not telling you about his major events......Some time along the way he found someone else to listen to him ... and he has replaced you as his person to tell new things to ... look back to a time when maybe because you were busy you ignored him ... not on purpose... things just happen ...

nai' said...

By the way, you know that I'm only referencing Best Friend # 3. You know how I feel about #2 and #1 will settle down eventually (that, or she'll have a big decision to make about raising a baby without a father)


Kajuana said...

It seems that you've created a situation in which they feel it's your job to be their ear. Just create on that makes them feel you don't want to hear it. Send them a link to this entry. Hee-hee. Sometimes when people read stuff, they get the hint you're talking about them.

The Nappyheaded Pensieve said...

Yep I'd be tired of hearing that mess myself

virtuousone said...

I am having the same problem right now!!!!!! I am tired of being the one that fixes everything...I need a break too!