Reclaiming my SEXY

I think its time for me to get serious about working out and eating healthy again. I can’t say that I eat very unhealthy, but I do eat my unhealthy snacks from time to time. I’ve been looking at my body and my one pack is gone.
One pack…you laugh!
Yes, I had only one pack, but that is more than many people have. I’m going to work out 3 times a week. I’m not in college anymore I can’t work out everyday. Working out my abs was so important. Once I stopped doing them I really see the difference. I’m not trying to be skinny, just healthy. I don’t want to see any rolls, flab, cellulite, and I am tired of my thighs rubbing together.
I am 5’9. 165 lbs and I wear a size 10. I want to drop down just a little bit so that I can feel comfortable in my shorts.
I know I can do it. I’ve done it before.
I’m reclaiming my sexy size 8 with my sexy one pack. Maybe this time I’ll get two.
God didn’t give me that “perfect body” because he knew I would be on someone’s calendar and walking the streets half naked. He wants better for me!

Weekend

Man, I am so tired right now. I didn't do much this weekend but i guess i did enough for my eyes to be blurry. The past week was very event full for me: work every day and happy hour twice. I even made it to church on sabbath morning and did my hair while watching the Yankees loose.

I bet my co worker that the Yankees were going to bet the orioles on Saturday and of course, they disappointed me. Tomorrow morning i am going to have to listen to his rants and raves on why the Yankees suck. (I'll be tuning him out the whole time.) To make matters even worse, the mets lost to the nationals. How terrible is that? They should be ashamed to loose to that clubhouse. The Nat's are the worst team in the nation.

My co worker gets lunch on me tomorrow. I learned my lesson. I'm going to stop betting for a little bit. Not until my confidence level in NY ball cubs increases. I don't have money to waste on other people when i can be wasting it on myself.

At least both teams won today. Good job! Just a little too late.

Who's that girl?

I am that girl.
The one I tried so hard not to be. The girl that I heard about and wondered… “Why is she was so stupid?” “Why would she get into that situation? “That’s what she gets because she allowed him to get away with that bull shit.”
I am that girl.
At the drop of the dime I found myself involved in short spurts of espionage. I was trying to figure out what he was doing when I should have been doing more important things. At the time that was the most important thing. I can’t focus on anything else. I try to work but I’m getting nothing done.
Damn, I’m that girl.
I never used to be like this. I need to turn back the hands of time. You know, back to those day when I didn’t give a shit. The days when none of you were important and I just focused on myself.
The day I was that girl but I did not know it.

Cant trust a friend

Can’t trust a friend
Can’t trust a friend
Can’t trust a friend, thought that she was my homie
I remember back way in the day
We used to share most anything (we did)
We were so close, inseperable
The secrets we shared, nobody knew
why would she do this to me (i don't know)
Suposed to be my friend, not enemy(She played you out like that)

Can’t trust a friend
Thought that she was my homie
Never think that she would betray me
She’s the one who’s got me in this mess
Goes to show you can’t trust a friend
Thought that she was my homie
Never think that she would betray me
Goes to show you can’t trust a friend

Late night talkin on the phone
She made me feel so comfortable
Pretending all the time that I was safe
But thats was a part of the scheme she played
Supossed to be my friend, not enemy
Goes to show you can’t trust a friend

The Way I Are

I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers
But together we could be the perfect soul mates
Talk to me girl

Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the G's or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like, I like, I like...

Have you ever really listened to the words of the foolishness that we jam to everyday in our cars? I was so embarrassed when I saw the video and actually listened to the words of a few songs that I had on heavy rotation. If you have seen the video for a song called Ah Bay Bay then you know what I mean. I should have known better. I was surprised for some odd reason when I saw this young ghetto looking kid in a long white tee on the train tracks with beads in his hair. Now I still don't know his name, but that song played so much on the radio that I actually started to like it.

There is this other stupid song that I love, "wipe me down' by Young Boosie. When i drive through my neighborhood or when i am on the train, I make sure i turn down my music because i am so embarrassed. I guess we are all just desensitized. Americans... some would say... are so stupid.

When did it become so cool to speak incorrect English?

My December

I must say that Kelly Clarkson has another hit album on her hands. She was the best choice to win American Idol during her season. She turned out to be a huge success. I always liked her but I didn’t think that I would like her this much. AOL has her new album on the free listening party session this week. My December has been playing since 9 am this morning. I keep playing it over and over because it is that good.

I will have to download it when it comes out (from Itunes of course). For the past few weeks I had Maroon 5 on heavy rotation. I think Kelly may take their place.

Favorite tracks:
Sober
Judas
Haunted
Be Still – I love the tranquil feeling that this song bestows upon me.
Never Again – I hated this song when I first heard it.

So go pick up a copy this week or download it from Itunes.

Classic

This is one of those videos that are even more funny when you are engaged in illegal activities. (So they say). And to think that this guy really is not Jamaican. LOL

Life is what you make it.

As I sit on the National Mall during my lunch break, I am reminded of God’s creations. “Let There Be Light”. The sun is beaming down on my but I enjoy it. As I sit here soaking up the sun, I watch as the beautiful people exercise. Topless men and woman in their sports bras! Hey… Its 95 degrees!
Across from me is a yellow school bus, complete with school children visiting the capitol. They are so happy to be outdoors rather than being inside doing school work. I feel the same way. Sometimes it is nice to come outside and enjoy the scenery.
Working in DC opens up many windows for me. It’s not like NYC. Actually it’s quite different. I can see myself being very successful in this place but I can’t see myself here forever. I miss the youthfulness and the diversity of NYC. Life is what you make it. I just have to make it down here.

Its been a long time. I should not have left you...

It’s been a long time since I last blogged. That’s life. Blogging was the last thing on my mind. I was boggled down with many other stresses. Any how, I am back now. Lets get back to work.

Worry

Some times I worry about things and I don't know why but being unemployed for 2 and a half months is really beginning to eat away at me. I know that I could be worst off, and that there are many people who are worst off than I am, but it still hurts to know that after doing to college and doing well you still can not live up to your own expectations.

I know that God has a plan for me. I don't know what it is, or when its going to come into effect. I don't know what else I can do to make myself more marketable to these employers. I go to recruitment activities, career fairs and expose. I have these interviews and second interviews but I always get the email or the letter in the mail that states that I wasn't chosen. The think is that I am a recent college grad. I worked for 6 months and got laid off along with 749 other people. In business terms, I still don't have any work experience. That's why I cant get hired. They want someone with 2-5 years of experience because nobody wants to spend money to train workers anymore. How do they expect us to get experience when we cant find a job?

I even tried the gradschool route, but guess what? Its recommended that you work for 2 years so that you are sure of the MBA program that you want to be in. Now isn't that some BS. Either route I take leaves me looking for a job, and looking for a good job is a full time job in itself. I don't want to become to worried, but how can I not? I grew up disadvantaged and when I got the opportunity I ran with it, but bad things happen to good people sometimes. I don't want my cycle to be reversed. I wont allow it. What else can I do but pray, hope and try to keep my head above water as I look for a job every day?

Yes I Am Better than You

I have 2 more days to get ready for my cruise and i am not packed and my hair is not done. Like most black women who plan to be in the water all day for about a week would, i decided to put braids in my hair to escape the nappy hassle of trying to do my hair everyday.

I left work and i went to 125 to get my hair braided. Everyone knows that you get off the train in harlem and the africans recruit you to get your hair braided. I already knew what style i wanted i just had to explain it to them and let them get to work. But thats where the problem started.

These Africans come into this country looking for a better life. Or at least that is what i thought. They own these hair braiding shops or is owned by someone they know, but they don't take any care of their work place. I went from hair dresser to hair dresser looking to see where i was going to get my hair done. Most of these stores in harlem were so disgusting that i didnt even want to go into the shop. When i say disgusting i mean, there were soooo many roaches crawling up and down the walls and there was just so much hair and food on the floor. The place was a disgrace. I didnt want to even step foot into such a nasty place. For one thing, i am allergic to roaches and for another, i had on my good work clothes. I didnt want anything of mine to get messed up in those places.
One lady thought that i was very rude because i didnt want to sit down. But really, there was no way i was sitting in that dirty seat. I didnt even want to touch the hair book because it was sticky. All i wanted to do was get out of there. Its not that i think that i am better than anybody, but i am. I know better and i want better for myself. I dont settle for less. There is no reason why anyone should be subjected to work in such an unsanitary place and if i am paying $100 to get my hair done and i am going to be sitting there for 4-5 hrs, i at least want to be comfortable. I dont want to get on the train when i am done and then see a roach crawling out of my bag. i would be sooo angry.

My One Pack is on the Way!
Look really closely. maybe even close one eye. I think it looks damn good so far. Don't hate. How many of you all can say that you kept your new years resolution of going to the gym and actually gettin rock hard abs... ok well maybe not rock hard but they arent soft.

Look into my Eyes

....Tell Me What You See

Can you see how much I enjoy living with my mom, but sometime I just don't understand her logic. Can you tell me why she thinks that AC can make you sick? Is it because she is old fashioned? Can you tell me why she likes to lay on the floor under the window and wait for a breeze instead of turning on the fan? Is it because the fan only blows hot air? I thought that hot air was better than no air at all. I could be wrong.

Can you see how much I love my job but wish it wasn't so far away? But I am not even going to blog about my job because I don't want to be one of those people in the newspaper under the title "blogger ousted". That's not my style. I like my money. Checks come in real handy if you know what I mean.

Can you see how the pigs are just riding the train to get air condition cause its too hot outside? I have real issues with the pigs. Where were they on the 22nd when they were supposed to start random checks. How come they weren't in the train station when I caught the train. Isn't the mta spending all this money on over time for them to keep us safe? Where is the mta getting all this money from. I thought our country is in a big deficit. How come we always have millions of dollars to spend? Are they thinking about raising the fairs again? I cant afford more than $2 a trip.

Can you see how I am trying to be more like you and less like them but I keep running into my bad habits? I'm trying to be a better person. Can you see how it sucks to be seen as that kid that did so well and moved on to bigger and better. They always expect more and put more pressure on me because I was that kid. Little did they know... LOL, that kid had other plans.
I am even trying to read more. I didn't have time for the negro books in college. I was too busy trying to be better than the white man. I only took 1 africana studies class. How else was I gonna become a successful business woman. Now that I am back with my people I need to know what's really good, na'mean. I have to play catchup cause I missed out.

Rain Rain Make Them Go Away

Happy Sabbath!

I just came from church and I am real tired. I leave everyday at 7am to go to work and I don't get back till 7:30 or 8pm. On Saturday's I go to church b/c I am Seventh Day Adventist and I believe that the seventh day of the week is the Sabbath. OK.. so anyhow......

I took the bus today to church so on my way back I notice that there are a bunch of block parties today. ***When there are block parties on the blocks of the bus route, the bus has to go off the route. *** So, on my way back home, I missed my stop because I couldn't tell what street the bus turned on. I ended up downtown Brooklyn, but that was fine. I could just catch the 41 bus and get home with no problem.

When I get to my stop on the 41 line I see there is a block party going on the block across from mine. All I could think is "dang man, give a nigga some sun and they cant stay inside"... mind you I just came from church so I am tired and beat from the week not to mention I am starving.

All week it was nasty, it rained almost everyday and now on Sabbath it all of a sudden was a nice day. All week I been praying for it to be a nice day outside. All week with the acception of today. I already went were I had to go for the day so I don't care about outside anymore.

I went upstairs to my apartment and you know, I am still in a holy mood because I just came from church but all I can hear from my apartment is the loud secular music that is blasting across the street. So, I am starting to get pissed off. All I want is some peace and quiet on my day of rest. LOL ( I should know that isn't really possible because I live in flatbush, but I wish for it anyway.)

Now that I am in my room and I cant get the peace that I want so I decided to blast my gospel music so that these heathans can get a little taste of holy music for a bit. All the while I am wishing they would shut their music off so that I can turn my volume down so I can take a nap. All of a sudden I hear lighting and thunder and I look out my window and it started pouring. The next thing I realize is that its quiet outside. All them little niggas went inside cause they cant get their hair wet and they get get their systems wet because its their prize possessions.

I look out the window and I smile. THERE MUST BE A GOD SOMEWHERE!

Blog Blockers

I just started my new job, and I must say that I really like it so far, but of course, every new job seems great in the beginning. That's why I accepted the position. The only thing that really bothers me is that they block most sites that when idle I just might happen to surf on. I can't even check my email if its not company email. I just got addicted to blogging but I really don't get the chance to do it. I leave my house at 7 am and I don't get back till 7:30 or 8pm. That's almost my whole day.

I know I need to go to the gym but with a schedule like this it is so hard so I know that I need to force and motivate myself before I start gaining unwanted pounds.

So today at work (I'm still in training), I learned that I am an extrovert. I don't know if you have ever been through the Management By Strengths program at your job, but if you have you know how interesting it is and how you can learn to work along with other's personalities. It works on a color scale based on a short set of questions that you answer. Try it at www.strengths.com. My results turned out green but I am borderline red.
I found out that I am very team oriented but at the same time, I can be very direct and abrupt with people. I also found out that I have low tolerance for blue people because I tend to always be in a rush and I don't like to wait for anything even thought I sometimes wait till the last minute to do things.... OK OK, so maybe I didn't just learn these things. I've been like this my whole life. This test was right on the money. Go take it and introduce it at your work place!

I'm out, its past my bed time. I got a wake up at 6am now. I'm in the real workforce!! Don't call me anymore after 11. LOL

I Need a Break

Do you ever get sick and tired of being the friend that listens to others problems? I do, all the time. And recently its getting worse. Lately it seems like my friends are just putting themselves into stupid positions then they call me to ask me my opinion on what I think they should do. If you know me, you know that I am not the type of person who actually cares. I really could give a flying fuck about who is messing with who and in what position. I have 3 best friends and they all are really annoying me right now.

Best friend #1
I get many calls everyday and they all sum up to the same thing. "I slept with Mike. What should I do?" My reply to that is: that is your business. What can you tell someone when you feel like your words goes in one ear and out the other. If you are sleeping with Mike, Sean, Tom, Dick and Harry and you guys are all in the same area and they all play ball together, don't you think that one day they might just all find out? Common sense would tell me that if I am going to play games, at least do it in different zip codes.

Best friend #2
Now, this is a nigga that has too many tricks up his sleeves, they type of friend that always tells you the truth, but only when you ask. So if I happen to not ask I would never know. I guess people would call that the don't ask don't tell policy. But see, that only works if both of you are playing the game. I never knew that was the policy he was on until just one day, out of the blue I found out that he had a girlfriend. Then I found out that he bought a car. A few months later I found out that he bought a house and had moved. The next thing I know I am finding all these books about marriage around his house and in his car.
So I get a little pissed off because since when do you keep life changing events from your best friend? Nigga got me thinking that I lost my spot. Maybe we aren't as cool as I thought we were because I don't see how someone could forget to tell me things like that.
I don't keep my mouth shut when calls. If something is on my mind I will just say it, but you know what his response always is???? Here it goes..."I didn't tell you? I could have sworn I told you. I told somebody!" Well nigga there must be someone more important than me cause I never knew!

Best friend #3

This is the best friend that I referenced in the "Diamonds are Forever" post. I don't know what else to say, she is getting more and more crazy as her pregnancy progresses.

Am I wrong for not wanting to hear this shit any more? I just need a break!

Chicago Meetup

I will just like to start off by saying that sadly I will not be in attendance at the blogger meetup in Chicago. I am a bit bitter about it because I do really want to go. I have to start work the next day.

I am sick and tired of hearing Cee talk about Chicago. "Do you think I should wear this", "I wonder who else is staying in my hotel", "My flight..... blah blah blah blah" that's all I hear! Quite frankly, at this point, I don't care who goes to Chicago, how much fun you guys have, how much you can't remember because you drank too much, etc. I am taking a week off of blogging because every blog i read says something about Chicago and that shit didnt even come yet.

For the the July 4th weekend, I hope you guys have no fun. I hope everyone shows up really late. I hope it rains, and when I say rains, I mean pours! I hope your hotels SUCK! I hope your drinks are watered down and the food is not worth the money. You get my drift!

With all that said get there and get back safely! :)


By the way, did you see the EVE SEX TAPE???????

Juwanna Men Do it Again

Last night, I had nothing better to do so I decided to go Madison Square Garden to watch the Liberty vs. Stars. I could care less who won or lost, it was just giving me something to do.

We all know that women basketball is not as respected as it should be. No dunks, no fans. That's basically what it comes down to. But last night I had a great time, parcially because of the group of Puerto Rican high school kids sitting in front of me.
See, most people who go to the liberty games are not fans, they are just like me. But then we have the season ticket holders who are die hard fan of these Juwanna Men. Since no one really shows up to the games, I decided to just find my way right down to the front. So close to the game that I could see every time they picked their wedgies.

*SIDE NOTE* I couldn't help but wonder if those girls wear thongs or granny panties under those shorts *END NOTE*

So back to the kids in front of me. They were sitting on the floor, so into the game. All I heard all night was "LIBERTAD, Que Que!. Ok so you don't understand. Let me set it up for you. These kids hardly spoke English. Either that or they just chose to speak Spanish. So every time a beat dropped ( you know they play intro's to the songs at games) they would start dancing and chanting.
So 50 cents beat dropped, Candy Shop, and they all jump up and sing LIBERTAD, QUE QUE! LIBERTAD, Que Que. Next thing you know, by the second half our whole section was doing the chant. It spread like a wild fire. It went from " Damn I wish those stupid kids would sit down", "isn't it past their bed time", to LIBERTAD, Que Que. They even had me saying it. When the Ying Yang twins beat dropped for Wait everyone went crazy. Not because Juwanna was dunking but because the beat was hot.

So the liberty went on to win, yes... The Juwanna Men did it again. The stars gave them no real competition.

LIBERTAD.... QUE QUE!

Diamonds are FOREVER!

Diamonds must be forever... I guess that's why most of you ladies out there never got one from your so called men/boyfriends. Lately, I've been running into a spree of friends who are pregnant for guys who have no intention of taking them out to dinner, much less, marrying them. Let me give you a story.

I have a friend, lets call her Jane. Jane is pregnant. She is having Johns baby. John Thomas Martin I is married and has a 2 month old baby. Johns baby's name is, well lets call him John Thomas Martin II. Do you see where I am going with this. His baby has the same exact name as he does. Getting back to Jane. Her baby is due in a few months and guess what she is naming her baby??? John Thomas Martin III.

Now for goodness sake, can someone please tell me why Jane is being so stupid. John will have 2 children with the same exact name. And guess what???? They live in the same f'in building.

When Johns wife found out that Jane was pregnant she was a little bit upset but not shocked. She also found out that Jane started dating her husband 1 month after they got married. Me, being the good friend that I wish I wasn't, am so tired of listening to this soap opera. I rather be listening to R Kelly's trapped in the closet at this point.

See Johns wife, that stupid bitch isn't going anywhere, because her diamond is forever. Her man isn't leaving her. But Jane thinks she is getting a ring. She was sooo wrong.

Summer Came Early

Summer Came Early And......................................

1. I am sick and tired of seeing the girls in Harlem rocking their camel toes.

2. Ghetto Parents have put up mini pools on the sidewalk for their fat children to splash in.

3. These damn Puerto Ricans still don't know how to act, especially at the PR parade.

4. I am tired of seeing girls on the train with powder all over their chest.

5. The Rasta's on flatbush still don't wear deodorant.

6. I am sick of these half ass fire escape bbq's.

7. My mom still doesn't have AC so I have to sleep naked.

8. I am disgusted by these 300 lbs parents picking up their children wearing backless club shirts.

9. I still don't have the one pack that I've been working all year for.

10. The personal trainers in bally's try to get with anything that walks.

11. The old men on the block have nothing better to do that drink red strip and 40's and watch me as I walk down the block.

12. These bastard children wont stop setting off firecrackers in the middle of the night until one of them gets their finger blown off.

13. Hot 97 has the most ignorant DJ's on the radio.

14. Skirts are getting shorter but the cottage cheese is in abundance.

15. In 15 minutes I hope Michael Jackson is found guilty